Jolly Old Man Detained Coming out of a Chimney

The Stanton County Sheriff’s office, early Christmas morning responded to numerous 911 calls all over Stanton County of suspicious noises coming from residential rooftops.  Shortly after a large man with a white beard carrying a large sack over his shoulder (loaded with wrapped and unwrapped toys) was observed coming out of a chimney at a local residence and detained.  The jovial man greeted the guys in brown by their full names and gave his name as Kris Kringle of the North Pole, but he could not provide any form of ID other than what appeared to be a Deutschland census card dated 1620 AD with the name “Weihnactmann” (Look it Up)   He also did show a very worn and faded “Get out of Jail” free letter on White House letterhead signed by U.S. President Teddy Roosevelt in December 1902 and a “Grant unhindered passage at all times to this bearer” note signed by Queen Victoria in 1889 on Victorian era paper.  He also quickly reminded the Sheriff and his deputies of times, they may have not been so nice and listed exact toys they each had received as children at Christmas time in years long ago. Based on these facts and that nothing was found to be missing from any local residences and that only gifts were left behind.  The “Jolly Old Man” was free to go after an identification photo was taken.  He left saying “Blessed are the Peacemakers, as they will be called the Children of God”.  He snapped his white gloved fingers and was quickly picked up by a brand new Red in color, Mercedes Benz SUV bearing prestige plates “Rudolph” and disappeared into the night at supersonic speed heading west out of town. You just can’t make the stuff up that we deal with every day of the year! Everyone at the Stanton County Sheriff’s office wishes you all a “Merry Christmas” and for all of us a better and less restrictive 2021. Oh, he did say one other interesting thing “He always knows if you are naughty or nice” 🙂